V-Day
This particular post may be a little awkward or squeamish for some but I thought it might be interesting to write anyway (either that or the post operative drugs I’m currently on are REALLY good and I just don’t care – LOL!).
The point is, part of being an artist is sharing yourself. I don’t always agree with the assessment that blog posts should ONLY be entertaining without having any kind of personal value to them. I personally enjoy reading artists talk about things that they are thinking about or going through or what some of their worries are because that tells me how human they really are.
Well, in my case, I had a vasectomy today. This was something that my wife and I had discussed off and on for the last two years so it wasn’t something that we just suddenly did. I won’t go into all the boring details of why except it was mostly for the most obvious reasons of deciding we were satisfied having only two children.
But as I have been sitting here relaxing and recovering from my surgery by reading some of the fantastic responses people have sent to me today concerning my double-spread strip via the blog or on Twitter, I realized there was some very striking correlations between my surgery and everything that has gone on this week concerning webcomics.com going the subscription path. I know I said today’s strip would be my last thoughts on the matter but this is different type of commentary in the sense that I’m not going to rail against the decision. That absolutely is done.
Instead, here’s how I am currently looking at things:
Pre-op Surgery:
I have been feeling on top of the world lately. I’ve been hitting the gym regularly and running more consistently every other day. Life seemed keen and great (even though I knew “the date” was fast approaching). As the date got closer and closer though, I could feel a little bit more anxiety build up each day mainly due to the GREAT UNKNOWN eating at my brain. I’ve had friends and relatives who have had a vasectpmy but that was them. This was me. And as each day to “V-Day” grew closer, I started feeling just a little bit nervous then the day before.
Now, with webcomics.com, there was no “target date” that would only build up anxiety to all the Half Pixel fans out there. Maybe that’s the “band-aid” analogy Brad talks about. But in any case, that’s the only small difference in my little scenario though.
But once the wall came down on webcomics.com, a great many of us did suddenly feel all the things I had begun to feel with regards to my surgery… there was anxiety, there was a huge well of nerves being touched all over the place.
Many people felt upset about losing something that the very much got used to having… something that was very much a part of them… and something they very much enjoyed laying claim to. But after the wall came down, it was gone. And it was never going to be the same again. Ever. For some, after the wall came down, Half Pixel and webcomics.com was irreversibly changed. Forever.
And maybe all that reality hit us just a little bit too hard and only added to the anxiety and negative feelings we were already going through.
But as MY surgery approached, there was a huge amount of nervousness enveloping me because I too realized tomorrow was going to be DRASTICALLY different than today. I was about to lose something that I got very used to having… something that was very much a part of me… and something that I very much enjoyed laying claim to. But after tomorrow, it was going to be gone. After tomorrow, I was never going to be the same. Ever. In fact, after tomorrow, I was going to be irreversibly… altered. Forever.
It was inevitable. For me, the date was set so I always knew it was coming. And some might argue that a subscription-model was inevitable for webcomics.com as well. In either case, the deal was done and there was no going back.
But a funny thing happened on the way to the doctor’s office and after the surgery.
Perhaps it was because, once in the office, I was pretty much resigned to my fate. Or, perhaps the preoperative drugs had suddenly kicked it. In any case, the anxiety I had was gone. I still had a bit of nerves but they were more in the lines of “OK, I’m here. Let’s just get this thing over with” kind of nerves. Then the surgery began.
And it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be. And so I walked out of the hospital (albeit gingerly) and realized I didn’t actually feel any different than I did just a few hours ago. I didn’t feel a whole lot of pain either. The day was still cold. The sun was still out. And I was, as usual, hungry.
Nothing really changed.
I’m still the person I was before. I’m still the husband and father I was before. I’m still the only crazy and insane artist that could possibly find some way to correlate a vasectomy with webcomics.
So, maybe in the end, all of our anxiety, all of our fears and all of our trepidations aren’t nearly as bad as we’re making them out to be or have made them out to be.
Yes, www.webcomics.com has irreversibly changed. No longer is it something for all of us. And no longer is it the same thing it was last week. But really, is it all that bad? Sure, it’s a little discomforting now – maybe even a little painful – but you really haven’t changed. You’re still the person you are despite no longer having access to www.webcomics.com.
Or your “swimmers”.
So, if you’re STILL feeling upset about the whole webcomics.com-subscription thing, go get a vasectomy. You’ll have a much different perspective after wards.
I guarantee it.
-Chris Flick
